Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
