And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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