I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
