The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
