Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
