Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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