Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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