I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
