I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
