I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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