I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
