We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
