YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
