that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
