The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
