I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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