He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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