why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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