I love black thongs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
