dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
