You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
