discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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