One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
