I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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