Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
