Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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