god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
