I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
