Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
