Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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