I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
