Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
