I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were trust falling into bushes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
