Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize