sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
be right there i have to get my cape
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
