if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
