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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  dude its may

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Work with me here, man.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.

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• (315): View more from New York

  don't pay it forward

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced

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• (315): View more from New York

  If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.

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• (714): View more from California

  I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night 

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.

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• (949): View more from California

  I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?

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• (714): View more from California

  Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(

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