But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we have officially lost it.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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