having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
