Me too!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
