We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
