i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
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