i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
