oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize