I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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