Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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