Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
