The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and she was petting her beer can
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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