I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize