The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
operation harelip BJ is a go
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
