you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
