Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Who died my cat blue again?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
