I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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