so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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