sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
