did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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