so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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