My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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