ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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