And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
