I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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