That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
