would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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