im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
