lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
