i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
